Way back when, in times when Twitter was still Twitter and didn’t belong to a crazy sociopath, I had 20 000 followers. 40 000 even, I suppose, as I built two accounts to the 20 000-follower-mark. I basically built half my career on my Twitter following, got amazing opportunities and connections that still help me today.
And yet, I deleted both accounts. In parts, because with Twitter becoming X, I could no longer justify supporting the platform. But also, because with a following like that came pressure and straight up hate. Now, to be honest, I used to enjoy the discussions. I used to get a kick out of arguments, spend hours thinking up the next witty reply. I thrived on winning, on being the smarter one, on having people retweet and applaud me.
But it also kept my heart rate at unhealthy levels all the time. It made me anxious, scared, at times, to even open the app. And with the amazing career opportunities came the real hate. The threatening letters, sent to my home address. The people calling my employers, talking smack about me. The “I saw you in town, you better watch yourself”-DMs.
Now, that obviously is extreme. I was a woman, successful in a male field (football journalism) and I was loud and opinionated. It probably wouldn’t happen, if I built that following now. But what can happen if you grow really quickly, is: you get followers that aren’t fully aligned with you. Maybe even those, that like to hate-follow people. Obviously, you can go viral and collect all the amazing followers very quickly as well. But (and it feels almost rebellious to write this, in a world where we’re supposed to want scale, reach, big numbers and growth charts that look impressive in screenshots) let’s not make that the focus.
Please have a seat and make yourself at home
How amazing would it be, to have a dinner every week, at a candlelit table with amazing food and drinks and people, that are warm and smart and lovely? Having the most inspiring and uplifting conversations? THATS what I want this to feel like.
Now, that doesn’t mean I’m not ambitious. Because I am, deeply so. I want my work to matter. I want to build something sustainable. I want to earn well. I want 10k months and the kind of independence that allows coffee walks and writing mornings and farmers’ market Saturdays. (Phew. This is the first time I’ve written that number down in public. Because YOU made me feel safe to do so, thank you!)
But I don’t want noise.
We’re taught that bigger equals better, more followers equals more legitimacy, more visibility equals more success.
But I’ve started to question that equation. No, I actually think that thats where we went wrong on Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn (OMG, especially on LinkedIn). I don’t want to broadcast into a void anymore. I want to build resonance.
I want 500 women who read slowly, think deeply. Who are building soft, powerful lives of their own. Women who refuse to harden just to survive ambitious rooms.
Women I would actually invite to dinner.
I actually think, this is the future of Social Media
Or at least, this is the way I can imagine myself STAYING on Social Media. Because, OMG is it exhausting at the moment. But if we finally collectively realized, that trust compounds, depth converts, that you don’t need a stadium to build something sustainable, you need consistency and alignment between who you are and what you offer. Then, we might be able to make the online space actually worth staying and investing in.
Fifty thousand followers might look impressive, but 500 women who trust you? That’s reliable architecture. That’s calm ambition. Let’s build slower and steadier. Let’s not spike and crash. Let’s actually live the life we want to live in our online spaces too.